The Wrong Story
Paper Trail #2: how I figured out my novel in progress needed to change
This post contains spoiler alerts for The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. If you haven’t read the book and don’t want key character arcs to be spoiled, skip to below the image.
I put off writing this post until yesterday…which shows exactly the kind of precipice, the crossroads I have reached. A point of no return, if you will. Except that’s being dramatic, because this is fiction we’re talking about. Of course you can make any changes you want at any point in time because it’s your mind that’s making it up as you go. But I digress.
I mentioned in one of my latest posts that I recently finished reading The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, which was a transformational book for me. I was sobbing by the end of it but what really stood out to me were the characters and their arcs throughout the novel. You have Vianne, who begins as a quiet presence with immense belief in her country to do the right thing but shifts throughout the story to become a woman who follows her morals and ethics rather than the letter of the law. You have Isabelle, who begins as a troubled, rebellious child who runs away from more schools than she attends but shifts throughout the story to use that ambition and recklessness to help rescue fallen soldiers and return them to their homeland through a treacherous mountain pass (earning the title, the Nightingale).
While the women are sisters, their storylines are drastically different yet align by the end with their mission during this time of war and violence. These characters stuck with me long after I finished the book, lingering deep into the night until I was about to fall asleep when the epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks.
Am I writing the wrong story?
My heart was pounding and all I could say out loud was, “Shit. Shit. Shit.” Every thought I had made it feel more real, that I had spent a year and a half writing the wrong story about the wrong character. While finishing drafts and moving through revisions, I had unearthed this uneasy feeling that something was missing, but I had taken it as the stereotypical overthinking of a writer who has finished a piece and is putting it out into the world. Of course everything falls apart once that happens and you question everything you’ve ever written. Never mind the fact that you were so proud of the work the minute before, so proud that you wanted to let more than a handful of people (read: yourself) love it too. I had brushed this feeling off, beginning to query agents and give this novel its chance to shine, but then the revelation hit and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
But I did.
Sure, I wrote down every thought I had and why I should choose to rewrite this from a character that I found infinitely more interesting than my original protagonist. Sure, I mapped out plot points that showed me the right direction and why I should go down that road to explore. But I avoided the act of diving deeper.
There was this fear that bubbled up under the surface of my skin, preventing me from making any movement forwards. It was the same fear I had when I didn’t want to start writing my novel. Or when I didn’t want to go back and revise. It was this fear of the unknown, something that I know to permeate the entirety of my life on a deeper level. After all, if it’s never happened, how do I know what’s to come? What would unravel if I decided to step inside this new idea, move towards this new path? Would all of this work be for nothing?
But what I did know, from this year and a half foray into fiction, was that sometimes this was how inspiration took hold. An idea breaks through the barriers of the mind and grabs ahold and, no matter how many times you shake it off, it doesn’t budge. You have to accept it, try it on to see if it fits, and then decide whether to buy it or hang it back on the rack. But you will never know until you try.
That’s how I ended up back in my Save The Cat craft book, back in my story outline, back in my world building documents and character maps, to see whether this idea of a new POV was right for my story. And I have come to realize it’s a multifaceted answer.
Yes, this character arc adds a greater layer of depth to the current plot. Yes, this is the storyline we need to tell in order to prove what this new dystopian world has done to women. But it’s only half of the story.
Because we also need that original perspective. It has the plot and the premise to carry this story forward. The timeline, the growth, the conclusion — all would not be plausible without it.
So what does that mean?
Here comes the story of me embarking on a journey to write a dual POV book. One half is written but the other is just beginning to unfold. But it’s blossoming quickly, ideas flowing like pollen and sticking just as easily.
Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and see where you land. Sometimes you have to face the fear that stares you down and dares you to step aside. Because you’ll never know the outcome unless you do.
Stories I’m Loving Recently
Here’s what has been inspiring and speaking to me recently. Book recommendations, publications, organizations — if it supports the purpose and passion here, it deserves to be amplified. All book links reflect a different independent bookshop — for this post, we’re supporting Yu and Me Books in Manhattan, NY.
Books
Shades of Magic series by V. E. Schwab
I discovered V. E. Schwab through her book, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, and I fell in love with her writing. Yes, I do give 5-star ratings frequently but that book was at the top of its category by far. So, naturally, I had to give one of her fantasy series a try. The characters are so well-written, each with their own traits and flaws, and I love how intricately she has woven this magical world (or worlds).
Publications
Ink & Ambition by Julia Harrington
One of my college friends is embarking on her author journey and I am ecstatic for her! If you love historical fiction mixed with feminism, you will love the pieces she has started to publish. My recent favorite was this post unpacking By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult.
Cover photo credits: Lanju Fotografie on Unsplash